I'm back after yet another loss

I know I haven't really been here that long or had a chance to get to know most of you, but hopefully that will change here soon. I plan on spending more time on the forums in an attempt to take my mind off the unfortunate events that have happened recently. A week ago last Tuesday I received a very difficult phone call from my sister telling me that my brother-in-law of 30 years had just died. He came into a life situation that he felt was too unbearable to live with and decided to take it upon himself to end his own life. (Self inflicted gun shot wound) It's always sad when anyone takes their own life, but when it's someone that you know and love, it's devastating!

This was extremely difficult for me to take as I just lost my Dad 3 months ago to a battle with Pancreatic Cancer. He was living with me at the time and since it was just the two of us, I was all alone. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do because he chose to die at home instead of being in a hospital or nursing home, so I was his sole caretaker through out the whole ordeal. With my dad it was something I knew was coming, (although that didn't make it any easier when he died) but with my brother-in-law, it was all so sudden and without warning.

My dad was my absolute best friend, and my brother-in-law was more like a real brother to me as we were close to the same age. Not only is it hard to lose two family members so close to the same time, but with it being around this time of the year, it makes it even more difficult. I think one of the only reasons I've been able to deal with all of this without getting myself into trouble, is the fact I've been Clean and Sober for almost 4 years now.

I just hope nobody else has to go through this sort of thing in such a short period of time. This is the kind of thing I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. Well, I'm just glad there are forums like this where I can go and get things off my chest......especially at 4:00 in the morning when I can't sleep.

Anyway, I posted a few new pictures of my car in the gallery after just having the windows tinted. Now I have some good ones to compare it to after all the modifications I plan on doing.

Man Bro
sorry to hear that. Things will get better through time. Stay around the Forum and keep your mind busy surfing the posts, may just be some good therapy for you.

Wow, sorry to hear about your tough year.  Look on the bright side of life and know that next year can only  get better.  I just visited your web page.  Nice rides!  I noticed we have very similar tastes in cars.  My first car was a 1983 red Pontiac Fiero. Very fun car to drive (esp. as a 16 y.o. high school soph). My parents bribed me out of it over safety concerns (engine fires and sticky accelerator) into a 1985 Camaro convertible white with tan cloth int. and tan top. I absolutely loved that car. I never was in a convertible before we picked that one up and simply fell in love with the open air experience. It was so cool to have a convertible Camaro when no one else did as the previous owner chopped the top off his coupe before convertibles made a comeback .  I briefly had a 1989 red Camaro conv. black top. But was rear ended by an SUV and pushed into BMW in front of me for a total loss. I then jumped ship for a short time into a 1990 Electric Blue Ford Mustang, but my heart was never in that car.  It was stolen in North Phily and never seen again. I went back to my true love a 1997 30th anniv. addition triple white Z28 with "hugger orange" stripes. It had a Corvette Engine.  It was the best car I ever had.  Never had a problem with it in almost 9 years. Which made my recent decision to sell it a tough one. But I got a deal I just couldn't refuse on a "used" 2007 triple black Convertible Corvette Z-51 with all the extras.  It seems a bit odd, but i kind of miss my Camaro.  I don't think most people would understand but after seeing your web page I thought you might.  I absolutely love your camaro.  Something about a white Camaro sets me off. Funny but I don't like white corvettes.  Gotta be black or red in my opinion.  But anyway I hope you can still have a nice Christmas and I don't sleep much these days either (insomnia) so maybe I'll run into you on Corvette Forum.  If you see me active and need someone to listen just drop me an E-mail anytime. 

Thanks Rich, I appreciate it!

That goes for you too Vincent!!  And you're certainly right about similarities in our past cars. I also had a couple of the early on red fiero's, 1 was an 84 and the other an 85. The 88 GT I have in my webpage is one I picked up a few years back which gave me a whole new appreciation for them. With having the V6 in the GT's as well as the upgraded suspension in the 88's, it had quite a bit more appeal as far as power and handling go.

My past Chevy list is quite long though. I've always been the guy who see's a good deal on an old Camaro or Chevelle, then after buying it and fixing all the problems it has, I have it painted or get some new wheels, drive it around for about a year or so, then re-sell it. A few of them I've kept for more than just the re-sale aspect. In all I've own (2) 67 Camaro cpe's, (2) 73 Z28's, a 79 cpe, an 84 cpe, an 87 I-ROC, an 88 Z28, a 91 RS, and the current 96 Z28.

My first car was a 66 Chevelle. I've also owned a 71, a true 69 SS/396, and a clone 69 SS. I also had a 66 Nova two door post, and finally a true 67 Nova Super Sport. It was the most beautiful black car I've ever owned and I took it to all the local car shows,.....which is why I had to sell it. I realized after having it for a year that I couldn't stand owning something I was afraid would get dirty or scratched, so I sold it. I actually prefer to go sideways down the road in my cars (with no one else around mind you) than sit at a car show while people looked at my car.

Anyway, that brings us to the current C5 I just picked up last month. I'm not quite sure why I never bought a Vette before this, but now that I have I'm really glad I did. If my list of previous cars doesn't convince you I'm a dedicated Chevyman, I also have "The Heartbeat of America, Yesterdays Chevrolet" tattooed on my left forearm.    The reason it says "Yesterdays" is because I'm an old school Chevy guy at heart. One of my favorite cars is still a 67 RS/SS Camaro. (Tubbed, Caged and Blown though) I just like the body lines of the older cars better, and not all the computerized mumbo-jumbo they have on the newer ones. (Just a personal opinion)

Anyway, thanks again for the post,...... it certainly gave me an excuse to put my mind on the past instead of the current events. 

BTW, this post also describes why my screen name is Str8upChevy!

Thanks for shareing your story with us. There are never any words to cover such a thing. I am really sorry for your pain and your loss. Just know that although it will never go away you will learn to deal with it over time. also know that they are both in a far better place, this I know. I'll bet your sister needs you too. that will keep you busy as well. Like gorichb said hang in there and keep reading the forums. and remember you have a new friends here too. stay well and God bless.

Hey, Str8 -
I'm so glad you found this Forum!  You'll find the greatest people here.  I was just reading your post and then read it out loud to my husband.  A few years back, we lost his Dad to a self inflicked gun shot  to the head and my husband was the one whom found him.  I can't say we know exactly what you are going through, but have a pretty good idea.  We will keep you in our prayers and you hang real close to this Forum for all the support you need.  It is here 24/7, so don't ever let yourself get lost and stay clean bro - whether it's juice or junk, it never helps; only makes things worse. 
  Hey, I love your rides - great website.  Be sure and post more pics when you get them.  We all love pics! 
Take care, stay safe.
Rita

Thanks bud, I appreciate your thoughts, and you're right about my sister. Unfortunately it's not just my sister though......I have a 24 year old nephew who's in the Navy and also a 22 year old niece. Each have two kids of their own who were very close to their Grandpa, so it's also been very hard on them. My nephew gave the eulogy at the funeral and did an outstanding job.
 
He appeared to be holding it together very well while I was there, although I know he was really torn up about it as well. He and his dad were as close as any two could be. I just wish he didn't have to ship back out so soon on his next tour. The other thing is that the rest of them live over 300 miles away from me so it's not like I can do as much for them as they can do for each other right now.
 
I understand what you mean by the "being in a better place", although I'd have to say that everyone in the family would disagree. I think having them here and alive with us would be far superior to them being dead. Obviously their situations weren't the best prior to their deaths, but in the case of my brother-in-law,........he took a temporary problem and made it a permanent solution. I also know that before my father passed away, he talked about wishing he had just a few more months to be with his family. That and I don't believe in the afterlife. But still I appreciate your gesture just the same.
 
I agree with also about the pain never really going away for good but getting better with time, because after 3 months of not having my oldman around still hurt, but it wasn't so intence. I'm sure the same will hold true with my brother-in-law. I'd have to say that most of my pain and sorrow is actually for my sister and her kids. Knowing what I just went through after losing my dad, and thinking how much worse it would have been had it happened 18 years ago. I got to spend almost twice as much time with my dad.
 
I know that they will definitely need some help financially as his life insurance policy will no longer be any good. I can certainly help out with that for a while, I just wish Mack would have thought about stuff like that before he decided to make such a selfish decision. Sorry, but I just can't help but also have some anger mixed in with all the hurt. I guess when you become suicidal you don't really think about anyone else. I know most of the 200 + people at the funeral felt the same way to a point.
 
Good grief,......I had no idea this became so long. Oh well, I guess I needed to get it off my chest or I would have quit a long time ago. It's time to go take my meds anyway, so this will be a good place to quit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rjensen

Hey, Str8 -
I'm so glad you found this Forum!  You'll find the greatest people here.  I was just reading your post and then read it out loud to my husband.  A few years back, we lost his Dad to a self inflicked gun shot  to the head and my husband was the one whom found him.  I can't say we know exactly what you are going through, but have a pretty good idea.  We will keep you in our prayers and you hang real close to this Forum for all the support you need.  It is here 24/7, so don't ever let yourself get lost and stay clean bro - whether it's juice or junk, it never helps; only makes things worse. 
Hey, I love your rides - great website.  Be sure and post more pics when you get them.  We all love pics! 
Take care, stay safe.
Rita

Thanks Rita, I really appreciate your reply. I'm very sorry for you and your husbands loss as well. I can understand now that the substances don't help the situation, and that's because I've learned a lot since getting sober. But the thought of using something to ease the pain when something like this happens will probably never go away. I just know how to resond to things now instead of reacting to them. Living alone has been a bit of a struggle during this time, so yes, being able to come here and spend time expressing my feelings is a very good thing for me right now. After my father passed away, I decided to sell my Condo and move to Southern Oregon so that I wouldn't have as much temptation to look up my old friends when things happen. (I know you can't run from your problems, but I thought a fresh start someplace new would do me good) I also have a big portion of my family here so that's another reason I chose this place.
 
I did just post a few new pictures of my car in the gallery here, but I definitely plan on updating them as soon as I start spending some money on it. There's so many things I want to do to it, and with being on full disability, I'm probably going to end up selling the 96 Z28 to do them. I definitely want to Supercharge it as well as doing a heads and cam swap. I think I'll probably get some different wheels for it too. We'll see what happens this spring.

Man that sucks, I dont even know what to say. Good luck with everything and u will b in my prayers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chargedvette02

Man that sucks, I dont even know what to say. Good luck with everything and u will b in my prayers.

Thanks partner, that means a lot! I completely understand about not knowing what to say. Your reply is enough to know that you care, and that's all that really matters.

Truely sorry to hear about both of your loses this year.  The one thing I always say is you gotta remember that "Life Goes On."  No matter what happens in your life you have to try to find a way to get through it and never stop, because life will never stop for you.  Despite everything I hope you have a great holiday and I look forward to seeing you around the boards.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PAY2PLAY

Truely sorry to hear about both of your loses this year.  The one thing I always say is you gotta remember that "Life Goes On."  No matter what happens in your life you have to try to find a way to get through it and never stop, because life will never stop for you.  Despite everything I hope you have a great holiday and I look forward to seeing you around the boards.

Thanks a lot man, I agree with you 100%. It's always tough to deal with the loss of a loved one, and even more difficult when two members of the family die so close to each other. I'm sure that with the support I'm getting and also the support I'm giving, I'll be able to get through this. I learned a long time ago that there's nothing we can do to change the past. It's what we do now that's important. I think if I were to hold on to everything that's happened here recently and just stuff it down inside, I'd probably lose my mind. So thanks for the words of encourgement,.....it's very good of advice!!

<<<<<<<<<Thanks Rita, I really appreciate your reply. I'm very sorry for you and your husbands loss as well. I can understand now that the substances don't help the situation, and that's because I've learned a lot since getting sober. But the thought of using something to ease the pain when something like this happens will probably never go away. I just know how to resond to things now instead of reacting to them. Living alone has been a bit of a struggle during this time, so yes, being able to come here and spend time expressing my feelings is a very good thing for me right now. After my father passed away, I decided to sell my Condo and move to Southern Oregon so that I wouldn't have as much temptation to look up my old friends when things happen. (I know you can't run from your problems, but I thought a fresh start someplace new would do me good) I also have a big portion of my family here so that's another reason I chose this place.>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hi Arch,
Thanks for your kind words.  You are right, the thought of turning to something to ease the pain never goes away, but for me the memories of  how short the high is and how bad the crash is always stops me.  I had some very tramatic stuff happen to me when I was a teenager and it took years to heal emotionally, but I have found a lot of comfort in my faith and in my pets.  Pets are so great; they love you unconditionally and are always happy to see you.  That is a lot more than I can say for children and people in general.  I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and wish you many blessings in the New Year.
Take care, stay safe.
Rita

quote:

ORIGINAL: rjensen

Hi Arch,
Thanks for your kind words.  You are right, the thought of turning to something to ease the pain never goes away, but for me the memories of  how short the high is and how bad the crash is always stops me.  I had some very tramatic stuff happen to me when I was a teenager and it took years to heal emotionally, but I have found a lot of comfort in my faith and in my pets.  Pets are so great; they love you unconditionally and are always happy to see you.  That is a lot more than I can say for children and people in general.  I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and wish you many blessings in the New Year.
Take care, stay safe.
Rita

Thank you very much Rita, 

I have to agree with you about the pet thing as I don't have any kids and, I'm also single at the time. I happen to have a 3 year old Toy Pomeranian who's name is "Peanut".    Hmmmm, I wonder what hapened to my picture???    I see Rita's is still there.

When I had one year clean and sober, my dad actually went out and found a local breeder who had some for sale. They were 9 weeks old and this one was the runt of the litter. (full grown she weighs 4 lbs) We had talked about our old pets a few weeks prior to that and I told him how I thought having a small dog to keep me company in my Condo would probably be very theraputic for me, especially since I was on disabilty and spent quite a bit of time at home by myself. So, he decided that since I worked so hard at staying sober for a year, he was going to buy me a purebred Pom. (I told him they were my favorite of all the small dogs)

When he got sick with cancer,......it all the little things he did like that, that made me insist on him moving in with me so that I could take care of him. Peanut was right there with me as he passed away, and it was strange how she got real quite and slept a lot for several days afterwards. It was almost like she knew he was gone. Anyway, she's been a complete godsend through out this whole ordeal, and I can honestly say that she's helped me to get through it.

Well, thank you again for the friendly post's.......it's alway nice to talk to people who've been through similar experiences.

Oh, what a beautiful dog!  My first dog was also the runt of the litter and I said the first time I laid eyes on her, "Jeepers! What a cute little dog!"  And so from that point on, that became her name - Jeepers!  (This picture is when she was 8 weeks old.  And don't worry, she never spent a night in that cage - she was right in bed with me from day 1.)  
I would be lost without my pets; I mean, I just can't imagine life without these sweet creatures.  They are truly a blessing for me and my husband and I am so glad to hear you have Peanut.. I am quite sure Peanut knew exactly when your Dad passed.  It has been my experience that domesticated animals, especially dogs and cats, are very intuitive and they understand death.  Even though you are a guy, she thinks of you as her  mother and that is just great!
 
Well, a lot of the people in the C5 Forum are crazy about their pets and we have lots of pictures posted, so you and Peanut fit right in.  Hope you both enjoy the Holidays.
Take care, stay safe.
Rita


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Oh how cute is that? She's just adorable Rita!!  Yeah, I did got her at such a young age, I'm sure she does think of me as her mother, although she's actually "Daddy's little girl". You should see how excited she gets if I say the words: "you wanna go bye-bye with daddy"? Oh my gosh, she goes absolutely crazy and starts spinning around in a circle really fast.
 
I have this little pet car-seat for her that sits over the top of my passenger seat. She always wants to ride on daddy's shoulder but that's just too unsafe, so I attach her harness to the little seat and she just sits up there with a big 'ol smile on her face. I'll have to see if I can dig up a few pictures of her when she was a puppy. I have a couple of her wearing a little black harley t-shirt that are so cute.  Maybe tomorrow!   

quote:

ORIGINAL: Str8upChevy

Oh how cute is that? She's just adorable Rita!!  Yeah, I did got her at such a young age, I'm sure she does think of me as her mother, although she's actually "Daddy's little girl". You should see how excited she gets if I say the words: "you wanna go bye-bye with daddy"? Oh my gosh, she goes absolutely crazy and starts spinning around in a circle really fast.

I have this little pet car-seat for her that sits over the top of my passenger seat. She always wants to ride on daddy's shoulder but that's just too unsafe, so I attach her harness to the little seat and she just sits up there with a big 'ol smile on her face. I'll have to see if I can dig up a few pictures of her when she was a puppy. I have a couple of her wearing a little black harley t-shirt that are so cute.  Maybe tomorrow!   

Hi Arch,
Oh, I can totally relate to this post.  My 3 dogs all have their own seat belt, otherwise they would do a Kama Kazi out the window- and yes, there are key phrasesand words they know and love.  They are just so smart!  Can't wait to see more pics - Under "OFF TOPIC"  if you check out the thread on "scary little monsters, you'll see everyone's pet pics.  It is sure to leave you smiling.