Damn cars...
 

Ya know, you get elbows deep into a project, and you find some little nut/bolt buried so far up under everything that you have to be a contortionist to get to it. So my horn wasn't working. Start at the column, everything is fine. Try to find the horn relay... yeah right. The manual pointed me in the right direction. About 6 inches up the main wiring loom from the fuse box. I'm 6'5" and 280 lbs. Thank goodness I have the telescoping tilt steering wheel. In to the floorpan upside down I go, feet in the air. The manual had a 2 blade relay pictured, and there aren't any 2 blade relays in there. Oh yeah, I was an electrical engineering major at one time. A relay MUST have at least 3 contacts... ground, trigger, and output. Duh. I find the right relay and yank it out.

Yep, it is bad. Looks to be original. $12 at NAPA, and back under the steering wheel I go. Yay!! Now when I press the horn it goes "click" under the dash!! Well, halfway there I suppose.

Back to Autozone for replacement high and low note horns. They don't have the originals, but I get something that looks close in a "universal GM" kit from Blazer (at 115db) for about $30. Yeah, Ecklers has the originals for about the same price, but I'm not waiting for shipping.

Anyone know where the damn horn is? Took off the hood... can't find it. Slid under the car, can't find it. Finally found it. In front of the front wheel wells, waaaaay outboard, next to the headlight actuators. Yeah, like my huge sausage-like fingers are gonna fit in there. I finally got them out, almost as bad as replacing the windshield washer bottle. So I install the new ones, swear, scrape knuckles, etc.. Go around to the steering wheel and "click". Yeah, "click". No horn. Back in front, I scratch my head for a couple minutes and remember that we have plastic friggin cars. You can't ground strap the negative side to the metal bracket, because the metal bracket is bolted to PLASTIC. Yeesh. Strip the old ground strap, put on a terminal blade, and we now have ground... and a very loud BEEP when you press the horn button.

I guess that (1) these things were never supposed to break, or (2) GM employed a bunch of skinny mechanics with ape arms and long elf-like fingers. Yet another job to take to the shop next time I need to replace something under there.


Yeesh.
bill.

RE: Damn cars...
 

The older I get and the more the carpel tunnel and arthritis take over, the more I think about paying someone to work on my stuff, but then I'd have to put in longer hours at the job to pay for it. It's a tough world.

RE: Damn cars...
 

Bill, your post totally cracked me right up!! I totally feel your pain there; this is why our mechanic is on speed dial, and gets Christmas cards every year. :D:D:D

RE: Damn cars...
 

:D:D:DI've banged, scraped and cut my hands so many times, that I don't even feel it anymore! :D:D:D
I come in from workin' on one of the cars, and my wife says, "Ya want a band-aid?" I reply, "Why"? She says, "'cause you're bleedin' all over the carpet!"
"So I am! Hmmm.!" [&:]
Last time, I was lookin for the power antenea relay, and tracin' the wiring back from the antenea. :D

RE: Damn cars...
 

Hey if you don't look like you just wrestled a bobcat when you get done working on your car, you aren't working fast enuf. ;)

At least when you got done, you knew it was done right. :D

RE: Damn cars...
 

*thumps on desk* Bwaaaaaaahahahaha!!!

[sm=icon_rofl.gif]

RE: Damn cars...
 

You ought to do it 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. Then work on your hot rods on the weekend. BUT, going to O'Reilly Nats in Houston this weekend to see the big boys run.

RE: Damn cars...
 

Hey Bill you keep working on your car and keep those postings coming.I need a good laugh, it keeps me entertained and I don't feel so bad when I work on Mine.(I'm 5'9' and 200lbs). Dave I have the same problem,always coming in bleeding and don't know it. Shoot now when ever I come in to wash or go to the can.the wife asks are you ok ,are ya hurt.It is just a routine now.I am going to try and post a couple of pictures of the vette in the next couple of days to give you all a chuckle. Have a good one talk at ya later.

RE: Damn cars...
 

I hear ya Bill. every time I work on one of the cars, (alot, all mine are old), I rewrite the english language....mostly with four letter words and colorful combinations of four letter words. Also I use red shop rags so the blood won't show up. Some of the automotive engineers must be the same guys that write the haynes manuals.....Can't tell their a$$ from a hole in the ground and forgot why they were lookin' for it in the first place and wouldn't have a clue what to do with it if they could find it.

RE: Damn cars...
 

:D:D:DI've written a new dictionary too! :D:D:D
Words like:
ricafrats, whakafilba, chetsamilka, fizadits, and frikaluts! There are many, many more, but I won't take up any more of your time. :D
It wouldn't be proper to post the english translations on our forum. ;)