Now, THIS post opens a can 'o worms, that's for sure!! It's true. Every word. Me, personally, I'd hate that, and oh yeh, there'd be discussions at my house on that end, but... yeh, a LOT of guys would sell tickets to somethin' like that.

Guys tend to be homophobic. It's just a fact. Dunno why, but it's true. Especially guys guys, if you know what I mean. I am that way, to a degree, even though we have a few gay folks who work here, and I consider friends. Not TOO close, mind you, just friends. LOL

But I tell ya, my friend, I admit it and wear it. And there is NO amount of liquor anywhere that would make me forget that. Which leads at least me (and I suspect others) to believe that maybe this guy was in the closet the whole time.

An' make no mistake about it: I feel terrible for the dude if he's about to lose his whole family due to that. That sucks. But, if he was in a real relationship, he'd talk to his wife about it, instead of postin' this stuff on the internet for everyone to see.

 

my input as a woman...I think it's so sad, I cant even imagine what he must be dealing with & even if his family dont find out...it's a secret that'll haunt him. Do I believe ya can get so drunk that ya don't kno what your doing...absolutely! Maybe, as he was so drunk, they guided him in doing it & he wasn't even aware of it, maybe something was slipped into his drinks that also could have made him totally unaware & out of it. Do I believe he's gay...not necessarily, it depends on the specifics of the situation. It's sad, sad & he needs to find some new friends cuz with friends like that who needs enemies?

 

Mmm, that is a distinct possibility... but in that thread I didn't see anywhere where he noted that he thought someone slipped him something. And I can tell you from a guys perspective... that just ain't gonna happen, no way, no how, unless something deeper is a brewin' in him.

First and foremost, I'd never ever do that. It just wouldn't happen. BUT! If something like that DID happen, or anything unpleasant for that matter.... I'd immediately go talk to my wife about it. I guess the bigger picture is my personal disappointment in the fact that he is "afraid it's gonna come out" to his family.... and he just refuses to discuss this with his best friend, his lifetime companion, his wife. There's more wrong in this marriage than just what happened on that one fateful night.

 

I guess as an afterthought, I really have to stress that I feel that people who post stuff like this online really get no sympathy from me, at all. That's just like that Subaru dude who came on here talkin' smack about Vette's awhile ago... what the hell do you EXPECT? In that guys case, he's talkin' to a bunch of testosterone pumped up dudes.... would you expect them to say, "ah gee, sorry about that"? Uh-uh. It's the Internot. Yer gonna get flamed, and big time. If he really wanted to deal with this, wanted help... he'd find it someplace that could actually offer him some help and support, not some forum.

 

Your right topspeed...nothing said bout him being slipped anything, I was just speculating, trying to come up with another reason this could happen...the optimist in me I guess LOL! A lot of people air their personal problems, I guess they feel safe in the anonymity of these boards, yet others come up with crap just for the fun of it. If this is true...I really feel for the guy & his predicament...he might just be a billboard for why not to drink hehe!

 

Hey! It could happen! I just don't see that from this particular thread myself.... I saw a guy who is afraid to be honest with his wife.

No kidding, eh? He might also be a walking billboard for "why not to drink and then post outcomes on the internet"....


So, here's a question? Would you talk to your husband? I would IMMEDIATELY talk to my wife, no doubt about it. I'm just curious as to how others would deal with something like this....

 

I think he is gender challenged. booze is an excuse. if it's even real he is lame for not kicking somebody's a$$ and telling his wife he was date raped.

 

Question...would your opinions be any different if he was on the receiving end rather than the giving end?

Topspeed: would I talk to my husband? Hummm, that's a tough one...I don't drink so I hope & PRAY I'm never in a position to have to deal with something like that, chances are tho I would have to tell cuz I couldn't live with it, BUT if I knew I could possibily lose EVERYTHING who knows...some things are just unforgivable & even if ya can forgive, you'll never forget & that could eat away at your marriage. Regardless of whether ya tell or not, it WILL effect your marriage one way or another unfortunately!

 

Precisely the same page I am on, my friend. There is no way I could possibly agree more with you.

 

Good question! I had to stop and think about it.. for a sec... the answer for me would be a distinct no. I'd still feel the exact same way about it.

I sorta (and this is a very loose comparison, but please bear with me here) compare this to the way I feel about my "heros" in life. Jimmie Johnson in NASCAR. Zakk Wylde on the guitar. I am fiercely loyal to friends in life, maybe to the point of it not being a good thing. Any of my friends/family/heroes would have to do something VERY drastic for me to change my feelings about them... and that might not even do it, to be honest.

For example, a while ago Tony Stewart wrecked a fellow racer on the track. I do not like that guy, so you can imagine the diatribe I had for that event. Let's just say I wasn't wishin' good things on Tony. My best friend asked me, "If that was Jimmie Johnson; would you be so vocal about your feelings? Or would they even be the same?" I said, "No, you are right. If it was Jimmie, I would chalk it up to to something insignificant and still carry on lovin' the guy."

So, yes, I hold onto my beliefs with both hands. I know that I am biased, and there's not much I can do about it; so I just accept it.

It's similar for the topic we are discussing here. Yep. I am a guys guy. Love NASCAR, Jack Daniels, Muscle Cars, Rock 'n Roll... the whole gambit... I know I am homophobic. I publically admit it. But, I ain't gonna change myself, so I have just learned to accept it.

Can't help but wonder what some of the other guys on the forums here think in regards to this question?

And BTW, it should be mentioned I have some real good friends here at work who are gay, so honest-to-God, I have no issues with that. My issues lie solely around my own personal discomfort with the whole thing. Does that make any sense at all?

I wholeheartedly agree! It WOULD MOST CERTAINLY effect the marriage, without a shadow of a doubt. But, with that being said, I can speak only from my own experience here.. my wife is my soulmate, the person I like and love and TRUST more than anyone else in the entire world... even though it would be a very difficult conversation to have, and yep, you just don't know the reaction you'd get... I'd still do it. You know why? Because I promised her I would be honest with her at all times.


Interesting how this thread went from one perspective to another here with your points, 06! I really enjoy the hearty discussion, and hope it continues with more input from you and others?