The Bowtie Lounge
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,328
From: Dickson, TN.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ya mean the sun is still hot at night?........Great stuff there.
On his doctor's orders, Mel had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.
Mel's brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. "Would you like to see the body?" the undertaker asked.
"I might as well take a look at it before the others get here." The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.
"He looks good," the brother said. "Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him!"
On his doctor's orders, Mel had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.
Mel's brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. "Would you like to see the body?" the undertaker asked.
"I might as well take a look at it before the others get here." The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.
"He looks good," the brother said. "Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him!"
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered...
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.
"You, sir, are drunk!"
"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.
"You, sir, are drunk!"
"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Nagging Wife vs. Drunk Driver
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?â€
“I've been to the pub,†slurs the drunk.
“Well,†says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.â€
“I did alright,†the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,†says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?â€
“Oh, thank heavens,†sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.â€
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?â€
“I've been to the pub,†slurs the drunk.
“Well,†says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.â€
“I did alright,†the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,†says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?â€
“Oh, thank heavens,†sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.â€
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
I love drunk jokes!!!Honess ostifer, I only had tea martunies, I'm not under the ofluence of inkahol, though many thinkle may peep I am, I'm just foolin' kinda feelish and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.[sm=alcoholic.gif]
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: C3 Starship
I love drunk jokes!!!
Honess ostifer, I only had tea martunies, I'm not under the ofluence of inkahol, though many thinkle may peep I am, I'm just foolin' kinda feelish and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.[sm=alcoholic.gif]
I love drunk jokes!!!Honess ostifer, I only had tea martunies, I'm not under the ofluence of inkahol, though many thinkle may peep I am, I'm just foolin' kinda feelish and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.[sm=alcoholic.gif]
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
The Sunburn
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. He was already starting to blister and in agony.
The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, said, "What good will Viagra do him?"
The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. He was already starting to blister and in agony.
The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, said, "What good will Viagra do him?"
The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: C3 Starship
The Sunburn
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. He was already starting to blister and in agony.
The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, said, "What good will Viagra do him?"
The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
The Sunburn
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. He was already starting to blister and in agony.
The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, said, "What good will Viagra do him?"
The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
FUNNY!