The Bowtie Lounge
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,328
From: Dickson, TN.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Hang on to any of the new Arkansas Quarters. If you have them, they may
be worth much more than 25 cents.
The US Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Arkansas
quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.
This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters
will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or
any other coin operated devices.
The problem lies in the unique design of the Arkansas quarter, which was
designed by a team of Ozark specialists.
Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together
keeps jamming up the machine.
be worth much more than 25 cents.
The US Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Arkansas
quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.
This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters
will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or
any other coin operated devices.
The problem lies in the unique design of the Arkansas quarter, which was
designed by a team of Ozark specialists.
Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together
keeps jamming up the machine.
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girlin the world."[/align]
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."[/align]
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in theworld."[/align]
So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy."It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."[/align]
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the smallest person in the world."[/align][/align]Some time later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says,"Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?
[/align]
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girlin the world."[/align]
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."[/align]
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in theworld."[/align]
So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy."It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."[/align]
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the smallest person in the world."[/align][/align]Some time later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says,"Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?
[/align]
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?
O. K.,....calm down.......take a deep breath.......wipe your eyes.
Better?
Now,....here's my favorite.........
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?
O. K.,....calm down.......take a deep breath.......wipe your eyes.
Better?
Now,....here's my favorite.........
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
While the cat's away
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi.... I'm so glad that you called.... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time.... Oh, that sounds terrific.... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi.... I'm so glad that you called.... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time.... Oh, that sounds terrific.... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,328
From: Dickson, TN.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."