Old age - meant for Bowtie Lounge
#23
RE: Old age - meant for Bowtie Lounge
Rita, guess what, I am blonde also. Now a lot of water has flowed under the bridge. One day DH ask how long I was going to stay blonde. I told him when he looked at me for the last time as they lowered me in the ground that my hair would still be blonde. I get the blonde emails all the time.
#26
RE: Old age - meant for Bowtie Lounge
Well, how about some more blonde humor???
Subject: blonde guy
> An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work
on
> scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
> They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and
cabbage! If
> I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to
jump
> off this building."
> The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get
> burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
> The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna
> sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
> The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
> cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a
> burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the
bologna
> and jumped to his death as well.
> At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd
known
> how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
> given it to him again!"
> The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos
or
> enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
> Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
> The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He packs his own lunch."
>
Subject: blonde guy
> An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work
on
> scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
> They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and
cabbage! If
> I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to
jump
> off this building."
> The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get
> burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
> The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna
> sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
> The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
> cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a
> burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the
bologna
> and jumped to his death as well.
> At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd
known
> how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
> given it to him again!"
> The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos
or
> enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
> Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
> The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He packs his own lunch."
>
#27
RE: Old age - meant for Bowtie Lounge
MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE -
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on theline
so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no
one will answer.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number,
date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to
talk to you."
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't
be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up."
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on theline
so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no
one will answer.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number,
date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to
talk to you."
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't
be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up."
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