Oh, T.S.,
You are killing me with this stuff
. . . especially the dog in the pink panties.

Guess with the tail a thong is out of the question.

 

Oh, yes, we have one that does Tarzan on our drapes . . . our new drapes [][]

 

I'm real proud of our two girls, never clawed the furnture, or climbed the drapes. They are 11 yr old sisters.
Bretcha, my wifes girl, gives hugs on command, by thowing her body into my wifes chest. Opal, my girl, will sit on the bathroom sink and meow, 'till I turn on the water, so she can get a drink. I'm thinkin', who really does the "trick", her or me!

 

Rita, that's priceless!!! Bwaaaaaaahahahaha!!!

 

Dude, I say it all the time. "Who's in control around here? Not us, that's for sure!!!"

 

You are right, Starship - cats do give hugs. When I would hug my boy cat, I could feel his little paws pressing against my shoulder as he hugged me back. And yes, our cats have us all well trained, too. People always talk about how smart their dog is, well cats are even smarter! They know exactly what you are saying, they just don't give a rat's a$$. HA!

 

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically!

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read,....."and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said:

'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"

The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter of factly:........

"I think the man would have said: "Well, f*** me! A talking pig!"


The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Kids.....Gotta love 'em.

 

Black November - A Turkey's Lament []

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;

His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ..... Black November;

"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

"Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink,

"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,

And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,

And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;

But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap,

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........" []

 

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HAhahahaha....Thats great. poor litttle bugger has a false sense of security, huh?