The Bowtie Lounge
#381
11-23-2006, 02:11 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
No, didn't talk, but I used to hold 'em by their front feet and they would dance on my desk. Frog Astair, and Ginger Frogers!
#382
11-23-2006, 04:45 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: TopSpeed
Football Fan To The Rescue
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replies.
"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.
"Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.
"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy says.
"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.
"I'm a Cowboys fan," the child says.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".
Football Fan To The Rescue
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replies.
"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.
"Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.
"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy says.
"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.
"I'm a Cowboys fan," the child says.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".
#383
11-24-2006, 02:08 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: C3 Starship
No, didn't talk, but I used to hold 'em by their front feet and they would dance on my desk. Frog Astair, and Ginger Frogers!
No, didn't talk, but I used to hold 'em by their front feet and they would dance on my desk. Frog Astair, and Ginger Frogers!
ORIGINAL: rjensen
Another great one by T.S. leaves me rolling.
Another great one by T.S. leaves me rolling.
#384
11-24-2006, 02:12 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty at Xmas
1. Did you get any under the tree?
2. I think your ***** are hanging too low.
3. Check out Rudolph's honker!
4. Santa's sack is really bulging.
5. Lift up the skirt so I can get a whiff.
6. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
7. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
8. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
9. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
10. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.
1. Did you get any under the tree?
2. I think your ***** are hanging too low.
3. Check out Rudolph's honker!
4. Santa's sack is really bulging.
5. Lift up the skirt so I can get a whiff.
6. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
7. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
8. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
9. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
10. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.
#385
11-24-2006, 02:13 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Oh Sweet Lord!! Another engineer type joke.... I love these, bein' an engineer myself. I can see the truth hidden in them.
The Engineer and the Bike
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
The Engineer and the Bike
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
#386
11-24-2006, 02:13 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Man and Pharmacist
A man asks his pharmacist for half of a Viagra pill. The doctor says that half a pill won't do any good, he needs two or three pills.
The man explains, 'No, you see the reason I only want half a pill is because I'm tired of peeing on my shoes.'
A man asks his pharmacist for half of a Viagra pill. The doctor says that half a pill won't do any good, he needs two or three pills.
The man explains, 'No, you see the reason I only want half a pill is because I'm tired of peeing on my shoes.'
#387
11-24-2006, 02:14 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Daddy, What Is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.'
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, 'Why did you ask that question, honey?'
She replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.'
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.'
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, 'Why did you ask that question, honey?'
She replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.'
#388
11-24-2006, 02:32 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: TopSpeed
Daddy, What Is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.'
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, 'Why did you ask that question, honey?'
She replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.'
Daddy, What Is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.'
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, 'Why did you ask that question, honey?'
She replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.'
Just like a kid with their wide-eye innocents [:-] to get you in all kinds of trouble.
#389
11-24-2006, 02:58 PM
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: rjensen
Oh, how funny!!!
Just like a kid with their wide-eye innocents [:-] to get you in all kinds of trouble.
ORIGINAL: TopSpeed
Daddy, What Is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.'
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, 'Why did you ask that question, honey?'
She replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.'
Daddy, What Is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.'
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, 'Why did you ask that question, honey?'
She replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.'
Just like a kid with their wide-eye innocents [:-] to get you in all kinds of trouble.