The Bowtie Lounge
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Sweet Lord, I love this joke!!!....
[hr]
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
[hr]
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Well, folks, I had a minute where I could be slightly introspective. I just had to share this... I have met several new friends here on the forums and some of them are even talking about a visit! I now understand when our local Vette friend told me, "You didn't buy a car. You joined a club." Everyone is so friendly and outgoing and helpful here in this community!! I am really having the time of my life with all this...
*CHEERS* to the fellowship known as Corvette!
*CHEERS* to the fellowship known as Corvette!
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 456
From: Virginia Beach, VA
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Hey Scotty, you didnt join a club... you joined a family! If you are ever down here in my neck of the woods in southeastern VA, let me know and ill be more than glad to show you and your wife around and we can go cruisin the strip (the oceanfront). That goes for all of you guys too
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: TopSpeed
Sweet Lord, I love this joke!!!....
[hr]
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
Sweet Lord, I love this joke!!!....
[hr]
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,328
From: Dickson, TN.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive
cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a
month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and
without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy,
the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued.. and WON!
(Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated, nevertheless, that the
lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them
against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable
fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss
of the rare cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was
convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a
month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and
without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy,
the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued.. and WON!
(Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated, nevertheless, that the
lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them
against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable
fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss
of the rare cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was
convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: 94blackC4
Hey Scotty, you didnt join a club... you joined a family! If you are ever down here in my neck of the woods in southeastern VA, let me know and ill be more than glad to show you and your wife around and we can go cruisin the strip (the oceanfront). That goes for all of you guys too
Hey Scotty, you didnt join a club... you joined a family! If you are ever down here in my neck of the woods in southeastern VA, let me know and ill be more than glad to show you and your wife around and we can go cruisin the strip (the oceanfront). That goes for all of you guys too
[8D]
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: C3 Starship
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose!!![&:]
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose!!![&:]
ORIGINAL: C3 Starship
Why do ducks have flat feet?
From stamping out small grass fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
From stamping out flaming ducks!!!
Why do ducks have flat feet?
From stamping out small grass fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
From stamping out flaming ducks!!!
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: blueshark
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive
cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a
month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and
without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy,
the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued.. and WON!
(Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated, nevertheless, that the
lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them
against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable
fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss
of the rare cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was
convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive
cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a
month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and
without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy,
the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued.. and WON!
(Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated, nevertheless, that the
lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them
against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable
fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss
of the rare cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was
convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.