OH HAVE MERCY, LORD! Bwaaaaaahahahaha!! Both youse, those are FUNNY!!! Now that's a way to start off a Thursday.

Let's roll off today with this one:

[hr]
A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's butt I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him.

A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Hillary Clinton appeared on the television. "She's a horse's butt too," the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Darn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country!"

"Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"

 

Yeee........Haw....... Love it!!!

A calvery sargent was captured by the indians. The chief said, " I'll give you one last request before we burn you at the stake." The sargent said, " I'd like to speak to my horse". His wish granted, he whispered in the horses ear and the horse ran off. About and hour later, the horse showed up with a red headed saloon girl on his back. The sargent said, "I need to talk to my horse again". He again whipered in the horses ear. The horse ran off again. In about an hour he showed back up with a blonde saloon girl. The sargent said I need to talk to my horse again. He again whipered in the horses ear, and the horse ran off once more. In about an hour the horse showed back up, this time with a brunette saloon gir on his back. The sargent asked the chief if he could speek with his horse one more time. the chief said O.K. The sargent pulled the horses face down in front of him and said.
"Read my lips, get me a P...O...S...S...E...Y!!!"

 

*thud* BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!! Classic!

 

A'ight! Time to roll out a Friday here, and roll into the weekend. A good laugh sometimes helps. so here we go...

[hr]
Chastity Belt for the Crusader's Wife

A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend.

He tells him, “If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.�

So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend.

“What's wrong?' � he asks.

“You gave me the wrong key!�

 

Just one more before it's quittin' time!!

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C.E.O. D.U.M.B

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.

"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."

Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper.

Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."

 

True story,
A guy in a bar was going around spouting off about how pi$$ed he was and was looking for a fight. I walked up to him and asked him if he wanted to fight. He said. "Ya, I'll fight anybody"! I said, "O.K., step outside". He walked outside and I closed and locked the door behind him. People in the bar roared with laughter. Never saw the guy again.

 

*thumps on desk* Bwahahahaha! I actually roared right out loud there, bro! My staff just looked at me like "huh??"

Boy oh boy, are we ever gonna have some serious fun if'n we gets a chance to git together sometime!

 

Let's roll into a Monday with a joke, shall we gang?
[hr]
You Know You're Out Of College When...

1. Your salary is less than your tuition.
2. Your potted plants stay alive.
3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
5. You have to pay your own credit card bill.
6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
7. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
8. 8:00a.m. is not early.
9. You have to file for your own taxes.
10. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
11. You're not carded anymore.
12. You carry an umbrella.
13. You learn that "Bachelor" is a nicer term for a jackass.
14. "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary, which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
15. "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid, and not married.
16. Your friends marry instead of hook-up, and divorce instead of break-up.
17. You start watching the weather channel.
18. Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
19. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.
20. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
21. You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
22. You go to parties that the police don't raid.
23. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
24. You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
25. Your car insurance goes down.
26. You refer to college students as kids.
27. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum.

 

That would be funny, if so much of it was'nt true. LOL

Well, Bin Luadnum finally died, as he entered the "Pearly Gates", he saw a long line of people there to "greet" him. First, Geoge Wahington, walked up punched him in the face, knocked him down and kicked him several times. Next, was Thomas Jefferson, he too, punched him out and kicked him several times. Now Paul Revere stepped up, bashed him in the face, knocked him down, and stomped the hell out of him. Ol' Bin turned to Saint Peter and asked, "What's goin' on here?"
Saint Peter says, "Even your own Koran says that you'll be met by 74 Virginians"!

 

And then Mister 94BlackC4 comes in and kicks the crap outta Bin Laden and says "Theres another good ol' Virginia Boy for ya son" LOL