The Bowtie Lounge
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Investment tips for 2006/07.....For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks!!!
1. Hale Business System, Mary Kay Cosmetics,Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and form,
HALE, MARY, FULLER, GRACE!
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become,
POLY, WARNER CRACKER!
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become,
MMMGOOD
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dackota Mining will merge and become,
ZIP AUDI DODA!
5. FedEx is expected to join with it's major competitor UPS and become,
FEDUP
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become,
FAIRWELL HONEYCHILD!
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become,
POUPON PANTS!
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become,
KNOTT NOW!
And finally,
9. Victoria's Secret and Smith and Wesson will merge under the new name,
TITTY TITTY BANG BANG!
1. Hale Business System, Mary Kay Cosmetics,Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and form,
HALE, MARY, FULLER, GRACE!
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become,
POLY, WARNER CRACKER!
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become,
MMMGOOD
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dackota Mining will merge and become,
ZIP AUDI DODA!
5. FedEx is expected to join with it's major competitor UPS and become,
FEDUP
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become,
FAIRWELL HONEYCHILD!
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become,
POUPON PANTS!
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become,
KNOTT NOW!
And finally,
9. Victoria's Secret and Smith and Wesson will merge under the new name,
TITTY TITTY BANG BANG!
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,162
From: deltona fl, 32738
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
CHECK THIS OUT GUYS AND GALS. PRETTY WEIRD.
Legend: A number of amazing coincidences can be found between the assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary, Kennedy, warned him not to go to the theatre.
Kennedy's secretary, Lincoln, warned him not to go to Dallas.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
Legend: A number of amazing coincidences can be found between the assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary, Kennedy, warned him not to go to the theatre.
Kennedy's secretary, Lincoln, warned him not to go to Dallas.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Lincoln was killed by booth, but Kennedy was not killed by Oswald. If you watch the photos of Kennedy being shot, you'll notice that his head is thrown BACK. His brains were splattered all over the trunck of the car. That doesn't happen with a shot coming from the rear, which is where Oswalds's shot would have come.
Ya, it's a coverup, but the truth won't be released for another 30 yrs. ( per statement made by investigations ) They want everyone to have died that remembers the assassination. Politics......
!!!
Ya, it's a coverup, but the truth won't be released for another 30 yrs. ( per statement made by investigations ) They want everyone to have died that remembers the assassination. Politics......!!!
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,162
From: deltona fl, 32738
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
HERE ONE FOR YA.
THE PILL THAT MAKES YOU FLY.
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
THE PILL THAT MAKES YOU FLY.
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,162
From: deltona fl, 32738
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
true storys
True Yet Funny
Drinking and driving
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
The "Environmental Engineering News" published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries.
In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, "He's drunk and in jail."
In Malaysia the driver is jailed and, if married, the spouse is jailed.
In the United Kingdom, Finland and Sweden there's an automatic jail term of one year.
In Turkey, drunk drivers are driven twenty miles out of town and forced to walk back ten miles.
In Bulgaria, a second drunk-driving conviction results in capital punishment.
In El Salvador, your first offense is your last -- execution by firing squad.
From the August Road & Track.
True Yet Funny
Drinking and driving
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
The "Environmental Engineering News" published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries.
In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, "He's drunk and in jail."
In Malaysia the driver is jailed and, if married, the spouse is jailed.
In the United Kingdom, Finland and Sweden there's an automatic jail term of one year.
In Turkey, drunk drivers are driven twenty miles out of town and forced to walk back ten miles.
In Bulgaria, a second drunk-driving conviction results in capital punishment.
In El Salvador, your first offense is your last -- execution by firing squad.
From the August Road & Track.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
What great posts in the Lounge today!!!! 
That one on Kennedy and Lincoln is a real head scratcher, that's for sure.
C3 Starship sent me this audio clip up... lessee if I can get it to post here somehow, 'cause, yeh, it's FUNNY!!!!
Funny Audio Clip
That one on Kennedy and Lincoln is a real head scratcher, that's for sure.C3 Starship sent me this audio clip up... lessee if I can get it to post here somehow, 'cause, yeh, it's FUNNY!!!!
Funny Audio Clip
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Here's a joke to start the day with!
[hr]
Doctors meeting
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems."
The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."
The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."
[hr]
Doctors meeting
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems."
The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."
The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,091
From:
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Just one more....
[hr]
Ugly person illness
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
[hr]
Ugly person illness
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
ORIGINAL: TopSpeed
Just one more....
[hr]
Ugly person illness
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
Just one more....
[hr]
Ugly person illness
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
