The Bowtie Lounge
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 383
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known "lover's Lane."
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he
sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer
magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear
seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks
to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window "Uh, yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine, sir"
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop
says: "And her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover
sweater."
Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car,
at night in a lovers' lane. And nothing obscene is happening!
"What's your age, young man?"
"I'm 25, sir."
"And her ... what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18
in 11 minutes."
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he
sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer
magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear
seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks
to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window "Uh, yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine, sir"
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop
says: "And her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover
sweater."
Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car,
at night in a lovers' lane. And nothing obscene is happening!
"What's your age, young man?"
"I'm 25, sir."
"And her ... what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18
in 11 minutes."
)
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
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MORNING.
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ANDA15FOOTHOLEWHERETHECREMATORIUMUSEDTOBE.
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Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Probably how it happens...
>
> Three Contractors
>
> Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida.
> They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
>
> The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900; $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>
> The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700; $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>
> The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700"
>
> The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys!
> How did you come up with such a high figure?"
>
> The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
>
> "Done!" replies the government official.
>
> And that friends, is how it all works!
>
> Three Contractors
>
> Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida.
> They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
>
> The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900; $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>
> The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700; $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>
> The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700"
>
> The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys!
> How did you come up with such a high figure?"
>
> The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
>
> "Done!" replies the government official.
>
> And that friends, is how it all works!
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
Physicians:
a. The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)
Guns:
a. The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.
b. The number of accidental deaths per year (all age groups) is1,500.
c. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188.
Statistically, doc tors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, Guns don't kill people; doctors do."
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
- We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand !!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
a. The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)
Guns:
a. The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.
b. The number of accidental deaths per year (all age groups) is1,500.
c. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188.
Statistically, doc tors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, Guns don't kill people; doctors do."
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
- We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand !!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
Super Moderator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,244
From: Reno, Nv.
RE: The Bowtie Lounge
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon
a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat
hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
+ Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
'Why such a price difference for the politicians?'
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of crap, it takes all morning.
a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat
hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
+ Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
'Why such a price difference for the politicians?'
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of crap, it takes all morning.