Here's one to go along with Starhip's fridge story. when I was a kid(11) my uncle was a scout master and got me involved with the scouts after my parents passed. we would go camping all the time. most of the troop was cousins and my cousin David was the assistant scout master. we were the troop from hell. anyway on one of the many camping trips David got hold of some "bugjuice" and tied one on while on fire watch. in the middle of the night he came back to our room and I guess he thought he was in the head cuz he just let it go...right on the three kids sleeping on the floor, one in particular. just soaked him about the head and shoulders. we were all laughing our butts off while he was screaming and carring on stuck in his sleeping bag. When he was done giving the kid a "golden shower" he climbed into our bunk and swiped the dang covers. it was about 30 below that winter in the mountians of NY. and we froze our butts that night but it was sure funny. David never realized it untill the next moning when he saw the kids bag was out in the front yard frozen solid.

 

The First Time I Got In Trouble At Work

I was a young engineer at Houston Lighting and Power Company in the early 1970s about a year into my first professional job. Things were different back then.

A woman had applied for a job as a lineman with the company. She had been turned down because "there were no adequate bathroom facilities for a lady" in the field or some such baloney. (I told you things were different back then). She sued, and won. As part of her settlement, the company had to post a special bulletin board on every floor of the building, with all job openings open to women listed -- of course this was a listing of all job openings in the company, you understand, but the bulletin board was only for women to look at.

This bulletin board was in the hallway right outside the office I shared with an idiot technician who eventually got killed by the Mexican mafia (a story for another day). It was a typed list of every job open in the company, alphabetized, for A (Accounts Clerk - Payroll) to Winch Trunk Driver (Overhead Line Services). -- A winch truck is a type of bucket truck with one hell of a winch on it to lift heavy equipment.

I hated that bulletin board. One day, with a fine tipped pen I went out and changed the spelling of that last entry in the list from "winch" to "wench." Wench truck driver. I swear, no one saw me do it.

But next thing I know my boss is very serious as he calls me in to his office and confronts me with the evidence: the changed typed list, and my pen, which someone took from my desk. I have to go see the VP - first time I have ever been on the executive floor. He sternly lectures me on equal rights for women, tells me "your next raise is in jeopardy." etc. etc.

then he closes the door, walks to a bookcase across the room and opens it into a bar and hands me a glass with two inches of Jack Daniels in it, as he tell me, "Kid, that the funniest bit of crap I've heard in years. Your only mistake was doing it while there was a mirror on the wall down the hallway. You have a great future with this company, trust me."

I didn't, but that's yet another story.

 

Ahhhhh.............Haaaaaaaaa, so you were one of those little "B's"
I had the same mail box prob a few years back. I lined mine with 3/8" steel plate and welded it to a 4' tall, 1/4" boiler pipe. I think I heard some one hit it "once". Just scratched the silver paint on the outside. I found a broken bat about half a block away. I keep a can of paint handy for repairs.

 

AHHHHhhhhh...............HAAAAAAAAAAAA............ HAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Those are great, guys!

 

here's one kinda like Lee's When I first came to TN from FL I was the assistant plant mgr. and the mgr. of R&D for a boat manufacturer here in town. about a year in to it they hired a new general mgr. they brought this guy in from a captin D's in arkasas. I guess they thought fish swim in water and boats run in water so he will do. This guy was a total a$$hole and hated me because I wouldn't just work 90hrs a week and do exactly as I was told. I guess in his mind I was uncontrolable so he was trying to find a way to fire me. up front where all the whoopdydoos parked they would put their names on there spots with cheezy mailbox letters, ya know, the gold letters with the black background. this guy's name was "Butch" one day at lunch time I went to the local hardware store and came back and replaced the "u" with an "I". they called me on the carpet and asked me why i did it. I told them "that's all I could fit, there wasn't enough room above it for the "whinny little" part". after it was over with the plant mgr. shook my hand and said "Good job"

 

Last one for tonight......
I was headed to Reno, Nv. from Truckee, Ca. on Interstate 80, east bound, in my '70 RR. About 2 miles from the state line I was dojn' about 70 when a CHP came up from behind. He just hung with me 'till we crossed the state line, then he passed me and took off. They drove 440 intercepters back then. Anyway, I took off after him. After 7 or 8 miles at 130, he turned off at a resturaunt/sevice station. I pulled off too 'cause I needed gas. He came up to me at the pump. I just knew he was goin' to take me in for wreckless drivin'. He said," thats a fast car, kid. Don't do that in California, 'cause I'll hav'ta write you up." He then turned away and went into the coffee shop. I 'bout crapped my pants, then I remembered , we were out of his jurisdiction. Whew.....!!!

 

That was a good one Dude!!!

 

he loved it too. can't tell me they don't open 'em up when no one's lookin'. I was just talking to to city cops here with brand new cruisers and they were like little kids in a candy store.

 

Test Drive,
I used to go out to the car dealers and test drive their new cars. Just somethin' to do when I was bored.
I went to the Dodge dealer and found a new "Concord". It was a new car for Dodge, I think it was some Japanese sports car that Dodge hung their name on.
While looking at the car, a young salesman, in his late teens or early twentys, came up and asked if I'd like to take it for a test drive. Read MY mind!!! I said, "O....K.........".(heh, heh) He explained that he would have to drive it off the lot. We left the lot and the kid missed a shift and was kinda rough with the other gears. Obviously inexperianced with a clutch. The whole time he's tryin' to tell about the car. We got down the road about 1 mile and I asked if I could drive now. We switched places and I sinched up tight.
Went about a block and he told me to turn right, "This road will take us out of town and you can get a feel for the car, and there isn't much traffic". (just what I wanted to here) It was one of those rolling country two lane roads. I ran through the gears pretty quick, good reaponce. Suddenly we came up over a rise and the road made an immediate, tight left turn. Im' thinkin', "O..h...... SH@%"!!! I down shifted and about 1/3 into the turn I dove for the bottom of the turn which had a fairly good bank to it, which probably saved our necks.
The a$$ end broke loose and slid around 180*, just as pretty as you please, and we ended up in the other lane, facing the right direction. Surprised the heck out of me! I looked over at the kid. He was white as a ghost, mouth wide open, eyes the size of silver dollars, and had a white knuckled grip on the dash board.
I calmly said, " handles pretty good , huh?"! He didn't regain his composure for about another half mile. Now this kid was excited, figured he had a sale in the bag. "Man,.... this car was made for you, you won't regret buyin' this car!!!", and so on.
Got back to the dealership, got out of the car, and went inside. The kid went up to, I think the head of sales, and they were tallking, but I couldn't hear. The head of sales came up and asked if i'd like to buy the car. I told him I'd have to come back later with my wife, I'd have to clear it with her. Ended up, they gave me the keys and told me to take the car and show it to my wife. "Well, she doesn't get off work for 3 more hours", I'm just tryin' to get out the door and go home. "That's O.K., take it and show her the car." As I'm walkin' out to the car I'm thinkin' "now there's a smart salesman, NOT!!!" I burned up 3/4 of a tank of gas, and had a ball out on the freeway. I did take the car by where my wife worked, for about 5 min., she just rolled her eyes and looked at me as if to say, "Kids!" No, I didn't buy it , but I did have fun for that 3 hours.
I bet that kid is still tellin' the story. Heck, I am! That was some twenty odd years ago.

 

Chrysler Conquest, brother to the Mitsubishi Starion. 2.6L turbo. Theyre pretty cool cars. Awesome story!